Lyrics

All lyrics by Che Prasad
(except where noted)



Christmastime in the Apocalypse
 
Put your ornaments away
Close the door and lock it tight
Take a moment to remember
On this unholy night
 
Is there something that you want
Is there someone that you miss
It’s just Christmastime
In the Apocalypse
 
It happened so fast
Took Saint Nick by surprise
Sugar plums withered to prunes
Children’s laughter turned to cries
 
Some called it Judgment
Or just the Yuletide Flu
Didn’t spare Santa’s helpers
Not the Christians or the Jews
 
Were you naughty or nice
Too late to make a list
It’s just Christmastime
In the Apocalypse
 
It starts with a tickle
Then it burns with a fever
Saw what it done to Pa
Now I’m a true believer
 
Your eyes go grey
Your body starts a heavin’
You feel a wanderlust
Even though you ain’t  breathin’
 
Keep that mistletoe a-hanging
For one last final kiss
It’s just Christmastime
In the Apocalypse
 
Those that went first
Some said the lucky ones
Left us no time
To get our shopping done
 
They shuffle through the mall
And wander aimlessly
Except for they’re undead
It’s kind of like it used to be
 
The Christmas tree is firewood
A zombie chorus gives a hiss
It’s just Christmastime
In the Apocalypse
 
The sirens are ringing
Instead of Christmas bells
That man in red ain’t Santa
He’s got a pitchfork, and a tail, can’t you tell?
 
The workshop is abandoned
Unfinished toys on the shelves
St. Nick’s looking rounder
He’s feasted on his elves
 
That scratching on the rooftop
Maybe Reindeer? Don’t you wish
It’s just Christmastime
In the Apocalypse
 
A mall Santa staggers
Looking for that little kid
Hoped he’d see another Christmas
Never found out if he did
 
When Frosty came to life again
We all grabbed for his hat
He was foaming at the mouth
I knocked his head off with a bat
 
Now Rudolf and the Bumble
Are running for their lives
While little zombie elves
Chase them with forks and wooden knives
 
 Now it’s Zombie Cindy Lou Who
Who is looking for the Grinch
His heart is growing smaller
She draws closer inch by inch
 
As Jesus blows his candle out
No need to make a wish
It’s just Christmastime
In the Apocalypse
 
A rhythm echoes the streets
Like a funeral drum
That little desert drummer boy
He foretold this day would come
 
The ghosts of Marley
Both of Jacob and of Bob
Watch as the worlds ends
In a blood bath zombie mob
 
Grab the star off the tree
It’s got some pointed ends
Take aim at the brains
Of our dear departed friends
 
When Good King Wencelas rose up
The snow was uneven
There was a gruesome feast that night
That feast was cousin Stephen
 
I crave your gingerbread cookies
Your fruitcake I’ll never miss
It’s just Christmastime
In the Apocalypse
 
The holidays can be so lonely
When you are but a few
Even worse to be surrounded
By people that you knew
 
We live on chestnuts and dried berries
Helps keep us on our toes
Jack Frost has gone zombie
Wants more than your nose
 
 Twas the night after Christmas
A man in red fur and white gloves
Sat alone in a snow bank
No answers from above
 
I miss Christmas Eve
And all the holiday cheer
Despite the zombies and mayhem
I’ll wait for it again next year
 
Now the world’s gone to hell
You’ve got nothing left to sell
But your soul
With no power and no heat
Take the stockings from your feet
And pray for coal
 
You were always so fragile
You think I would have learned
But I kept hope alive
Even on the night you turned
 
What do baby zombies eat?
When they’re hungry they still cry
She’s staring at me so sweet
But with a funny look in her eye
 
Is there something that you want
Is there someone that you miss
It’s just Christmastime
In the Apocalypse


 
  Early Checkout

This ain’t no Hilton, the driver says
A dust cloud rises as he speeds away

I’ll be fine here, despite the heat
Where’s my room? It’s across the street

Not in the main house where things are cozy
Across the street, it ain’t so rosy

They said stay away
They called me a fool
We’ve got three days
Till that moon is full

The path is littered with bugs that are dyin’
No phone reception, don’t bother tryin’

A welcome sign reads: Unicorns at Play
But that, my friend, is during the day

At night you’ll find no such noble beast
You’ll long for the crickets, as all noises cease

They said stay away
They called me a fool
We’ve got two days
Till that moon is full

Are those distant headlights that shine in my room?
Or peering eyes, that will be here soon?

Was that my stomach? Or a howl from afar?
How many steps to get to my car?

I walk towards the door, as it starts to open
A shadow throws a hangman’s rope in

They said stay away
They called me a fool
We’ve got one day
Till that moon is full

They said stay away
They called me a fool
The seconds tick away
Till that moon is full

Too long to wait.
It’s over and done
Another early checkout
From the ceiling fan hung
 


Afraid of the Sting


Down by Cherry Creek
They heard a shriek
And all started to run
The air came alive
Around the hive
And ruined all your fun

Your childhood gone
You learned early on
To be afraid of the sting

Bitten by a bug
You said it was love
But venom flowed through your veins
Despite her cooked toe,
And hollow soul,
A loyal drone you remained

You tied the knot
But you forgot
To be afraid of the sting

On the run
No part unstung
Take cover my Brother
You got my back
When all’s yellow and black
Take cover my Brother

Now your little girl
Head full of curls
Needs you to be the one
You faced your fears
Chased bees from her hair
When you might have been stung

You guide her through
So she never has to
Be afraid of the sting



Another Show

First time I saw you
I was the last one in the hall
Second time so close
You made me trip, I made you fall

I got to know your friends
Some would say that I was sick
Followed one around
Said I could take your pick

Another town, another show
Wish I didn’t have to go
Another town, another show
Wish I didn’t have to go
Another show, another town
I’ll hold you up on your way down

Down to your last dollar
Only I know where it went
Some would say I’m crazy
All the money that I’ve spent

Took me to the Catskills
Just to spend a week with you
Lurked among the shadows
Taught me a thing or two

Another town, another show
Wish I didn’t have to go
Another town, another show
Wish I didn’t have to go
Another show, another town
I’ll hold you up on your way down

Those who told me
Take a chance
Said I went too far
When I stole your pants

 Now I’m on a plane again
Stalking surely takes its toll
Won’t be happy till I’m in
The Cabaret of Souls

Another town, another show
Wish I didn’t have to go
Another town, another show
Wish I didn’t have to go
Another town, another show
Wish I didn’t have to go
Another show, another town
I’ll hold you up on your way down
 


The Italian Pathologist


Pointing out sights that everyone sees
His eyes are trained to find disease

An unlocked gait, he’ll gladly show
You places only priests would go

A bottle bubbles with homemade wine
The top blows off, an unpleasant surprise

The theater that his wife imposes
He prefers one that exposes
The insides that you try to hide
To show your weakness, dissolve your pride

A lonely leg hangs in his shed
Be his guest, you’ll be well fed

Golgi’s lamp, a microscope
The shroud of Turin he calls his cloak

He makes a choice, but you can’t choose
Diagnosis you can’t refuse

The theater that his wife imposes
He prefers one that exposes
The insides that you try to hide
To show your weakness, dissolve your pride

“I did it on the poor boy” Who knows what it means?
Don’t ask him to explain. He won’t say anything

A blind cat, an old lady’s ghost
“if it lives, it will live” his son would boast

He parks on sidewalks, or where he pleases
His eyes are trained to find diseases

The theater that his wife imposes
He prefers one that exposes
The insides that you try to hide
To show your weakness, dissolve your pride

Hospital halls in Italy
Master of Pathology
 


Only Teasing


I’m only teasing
He said
When he hid the child’s toy
But there was no laughter, for that little boy

He’s just teasing
She asked
Please tell me I’m right
For the things of which he speaks will wake me at night

Just kidding
I’m joking
Not really, they know
The grinning and winking
Don’t soften the blow

They say a jest betrays something serious
How far can he push it, I’m curious

Please stop teasing
She begged
Tears shone in her eyes
Is he telling the truth? Is he telling me lies?

Only teasing
He thought
But he took it too far
She packed up her things. Took the dog, took the kid, took the car

Just kidding
I’m joking
Not really, they know
The grinning and winking
Don’t soften the blow

No kidding
No joking
Got nothing to say
Just pass me a bottle
It’s better that way

Just kidding
I’m joking
Not really, they know
The grinning and winking
Don’t soften the blow

No kidding
No joking
I’ll try it some day
But now look behind you
While I run away

No kidding
No joking
But what can I do
That bag is on fire
Put it out with your shoe

No kidding
No joking
Now have a seat here
You fall on your back
As I pull out your chair
 


Shadows From the East

Shadows from the East
Were you invited to the feast?
One by one into your home
You only wanted to be alone

Shadows from the East
It’s much too late to call a priest
They rattle your pots and pans
Take your child to a foreign land?

Of what they speak you have no clue
You hear your name
They speak of you

Shadows from the East
Can’t say which one you fear the least
Head pounds, your eyes grow blurry
Your best dress stained with bloody curry

Shadows from the East
Your patience worn, forehead creased
Dirty laundry on your floor
You say you’re full, they give you more

Of what they speak you have no clue
You hear your name
They speak of you
Your mother warned, it all came true
You hear your name
They speak of you

                 
***

When it came time for my marriage to arrange
I found myself in winter in a land that was strange

No ham in the burger, range chickens not free
Better than the slap from the hand of a monkey

Dhote to dollars, Paneer to chedder
Drifted out west to  make my life better

Brought my relatives to the land of the free
Gave them everything except the front door key

So I couldn't understand all the cussin' the fussing
Why I shouldn't say "No" to my uncle’s second cousin

Fought some uphill battles but I always kept tryin’
Epic wins and losses just like in the Ramayan

I cry out in my sleep “Lady’s tough!”. Nothing new
Ask me why I’m here, I’ll speak your name, I speak of you

***

Of what they speak you have no clue
You hear your name
They speak of you
They sing your praise, it's long past due
You hear your name 
They speak of you
 


The Collector


Take a look around
I’ve got it all
From sitars, to guitars
A concertina I can’t play at all

My Mamas gallstones
There on the shelf
You might say “No way”
But go and ask her for yourself

A collection on display
A treasure trove of things I love
Things from now to yesterday
Take a look but please don’t touch
Now go away, you’ve seen too much

A makeshift alter
For my namesake’s past
A Cuban cigar, beret with a star
All that’s left of this iconoclast

Vintage figures
From days gone by
Ask who I am? Boy or a man?
Come closer and take a look inside

A collection on display
A treasure trove of things I love
Things from now to yesterday
Take a look but please don’t touch
Now go away, you’ve seen too much

What makes the cut?
What’s hidden away?
As I forget
They’ll remind me some day

Which ones are real?
Which ones are fake?
Some I steal
The rest I make

A collection on display
A treasure trove of things I love
Things from now to yesterday
Take a look but please don’t touch
Now go away, you’ve seen too much
 


You Never Liked Me

Lyrics by Mikie Lee and Che Prasad

I never liked you
We were never friends
It was a long time coming
Thought it would never end

You never liked me
Now you don’t have to pretend
Your dream’s come true
You’ll never see me again

You were warned not to cross onto my bad side
I could be your worst nightmare, or your greatest ally
You chose wrong, I chose not to forgive
To say you’re dead to me would be conservative

I never liked you
We were never friends
It was a long time coming
Thought it would never end

You never liked me
Now you don’t have to pretend
Your dream’s come true
You’ll never see me again

I don’t know what I did, but I sure did it well
You sipped your martinis, I liked my white Zinfandel
We never had any, so I don’t miss our talks
I gave back my key, you still changed all the locks

I’d offer to cut myself in two
Now wouldn’t that be a laugh
Watch the two of you argue
Who gets the bigger half

I never liked you
We were never friends
It was a long time coming
Thought it would never end

You never liked me
Now you don’t have to pretend
Your dream’s come true
You’ll never see me again

I said go left
I said that ain't right
I’ll win this tug of war
Won’t be much of a fight
I told him it’s either me or yous
I’m not a betting man but I know who he’d choose

I never liked you
We were never friends
It was a long time coming
Thought it would never end

You never liked me
Now you don’t have to pretend
Your dream’s come true
You’ll never see me again
 


You Were There Too


We fools three
Set to sea
To make good on a deal

But poor Frank
His heart sank
As he lost his last meal

As we stepped off the boat
And into the blue
I wished that you were there too

Not your scene
New Orleans
‘cause it gave you a scare

Mikes poor head
It dripped red
When he fell off that chair

As we waited in the ER
For an hour or two
I wished that you were there too

I try to be a good man
But I always fail
You’re a fine, fine woman
I’m a ne’er do well

I’m back home
But you’re gone
To live in a cave

My tirades
Your charades
No face you could save

As I wrap my rags round me
Think I’ve got the flu
I wished that you were there too

Don’t you wish that you were there too
      




 
 Jeffrey Burgler
lyrics by Che and Mikie Lee Prasad

Jeffrey Burgler you did it again
Stole my pride and ex-girlfriend
You say you will, but you won’t
You say I do, then you don’t

Jeffrey Burgler you did it again
Bought some time but you lost a friend
Took her to dinner
Just to win her heart
Buried treasure
no way to measure your art
You’d fall apart

Jeffrey Burgler you did it again
You fooled ‘em all but man’s best friend
Up went her hackles
on went her shackles that night
You talked up my mother
while my dear brother took the bite
That wasn’t right

Jeffrey Burgler you did it again
Promised a ring but you didn’t say when
You left with a smile
thought you would beguile us all
Lost your protection
Got an infection
Bad call
Your downfall

Jeffrey Burgler you did it again
She dropped the dime and they gave you ten
Jeffrey Burgler you did it again